starious' theme

Quaker Oats Company To Do List:

  • Make a cereal that tastes like wicker baskets and sadness
  • Make sure it gets soggy within 2.5 seconds after the milk hits the surface layer
  • Fill it with a drug that makes consumer forget how horrible it is every time they visit the grocery store
  • Name cereal “Life”
  • Cover box in grotesque, lifeless faces, contorted in a way that almost mimics glee in order to mock the consumer
  • Watch as twenty year old sobs into his bowl of reconstituted oat mush over how depressingly apt the metaphor is
  • Rinse
  • Repeat
  1. thatfuckingplant said: wow whatever happened to some fucking frosted flakes
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